June 2012
first day of school: 30 pencils, 64 crayons, 20 pens, 12 rulers, 10 notebooks.
end of school year: 1 pencil you found in the hallway.
Reblog if you have a dirty mind
pineappledean:
69% of people are too embarrassed to reblog this
69%…
me: wow could my thighs get any bigger *sits down*
me: apparently yes
iloveyoulikekanyeloveskanye:
when i turn 69 im just going to be laughing all year
soujizz:
thats
thats quite a discount
It kills me inside, knowing that one day I'll have...
PENCIL: You know, I'm really sorry.
ERASER: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.
PENCIL: I'm sorry, 'couse you get hurt because of me. Whenever I make a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller every time.
ERASER: That's true, but i don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though, one of these days, I know I'll be gone and you have to replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad.
random blogger reading this: what
me: OTP
i talk about wanting a boyfriend but i dont even know what id do with one like what do you just kiss him and then leave him alone in a corner how often does it eat
My mom is yelling at my brother and I overheard...
Mom: GO TO YOUR ROOM
Brother: that's not fair
Mom: DO AS I SAY.
Brother: You never send Lizzie to her room when she's in trouble!!
Mom: Lizzie never leaves her room. If she were in trouble I'd make her sit in the living room or go outside or talk to human beings.
Me: I CAN HEAR YOU.
buttgenie:
“no calculators allowed”
Just because i’m not posting doesn’t mean i’m not...
i’m always watching
That awkward moment when you're supposed to be...
sodamnrelatable:
What if you died and then your parents went... →
10knotes:
Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard
i think 60% of my life consists of me laughing by... →
the-absolute-funniest-posts:
Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard
queerard:
i like to alternate between chatspeak and actual words to show that i am educated but also carefree and fun 2 be around
pitchblackglow:
i used to laugh at plankton because he’s married to a computer but now i am plankton
May 2012
Anonymous asked: I like your blog sooo... go to tumblrtasks(.)com and sign up. It tells you how to make $$$$ online by doing easy work. Best 10 bucks I ever spent.
martymikalski:
SIRI
WHERE
IS
MY
SUPER
SUIT
me: omg im going to get all skinny and toned for summer and then i can wear crop tops and short shorts and ill have that perfect gap between my thighs and it will be perfect
me: is that cake
yeah so i just watched Insidious..
im gonna go empty the shit out of my underwear
